Free Humor Articles
Condoms, jimmies, rubbers?you might think you?ve heard them all. Condoms are one of the world?s most common prophylactics. Here are 5 things that you might not otherwise know about condoms and their names.
1. English Nicknames
One of the most known nicknames for condom is rubber. However, if you go to a convenience store in Australia or New Zealand and ask for a rubber, you will be handed an eraser. This could make for awkward moments for Kiwis or Aussies traveling abro...
As you know, an Italian gentleman has challenged the Catholic Church to prove that Christ existed, and, while the case was, somewhat expectedly, tossed out in an Italian court, the plaintiff, undaunted, found a court in Strasbourg that has agreed to hear it. It remains to be revealed who the Catholic Church will designate to defend its historical foundation.
Should we flinch from such a touchy subject and leave you to your own puzzlements? No, dear reader, rest assured tha...
It?s time for the USA to resolve, once and for, to bring down the curtain on international conduct so clumsy it can be seen, not as dexterous, but as the ballet Frankenstein.
Time to remember that ninety-nine percent of our practically usable power comes out of the barrel of a cash machine, so we concentrate on being the economic superpower we know how to be, not the military superpower we aren?t ruthless enough to be.
Time to let the mad world go its self-punishing way...
Among the world?s favorite operas, we find three of them with a libretto penned by Lorenzo Da Ponte and music by none other than the astonishingly delightful Viennese ear-confectioner Mozart. The list is a delight in itself: The Marriage of Figaro, Don Giovann, and Cosė Fan Tutte.
We learn in the new book, The Librettist of Venice, by Rodney Bolt, that Da Ponte grew so close with the unequalled Mozart ? both of whom, we learn, were not only talented but vain, insecure and ...
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What does a resourceful malefactor do when nearly all of the world is searching for him and he has nothing more urgent to do than hide out? Why, what else? He takes up gardening. At least, plants and vegetables can?t reveal his whereabouts. They?re also unlikely to be covert members of the CIA.
And so we join Osama Bin Laden, as he tends the little plot of earth he can call his own, at least, until he is sent off to an unexpectedly sudden meeting with his Allah.
Into th...
How can a demagogue who boasts of kidnapping and killing and whose woeful misjudgment has reined down death and destruction on his own country be hailed as a saint? Is this demagoguery for dummies or what?
How can the Lebanese people, proud descendants of the Phoenicians ? first to trade widely on the Mediterranean and resourceful developers of our Arabic numerals ? be completely duped by this inept practitioner of argumentum ad populum.
The hobgoblin has hijacked their...
Read 20 previously unknown secrets about general living that will give you a good laugh.
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Iran provided its long-promised ?multi-faceted? response to the proposal by Western nations that the mullahdom stop enriching uranium. A day or so before it presented its written response, the obstreperous nation conducted war games during which ten highly photographed missiles were fired in a generally westerly direction.
Of course, the West had hoped for a more obliging answer, particularly since the proposal contains an attractive package of bribes, diplomatically refer...
Chocolate is a Vegetable: Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Beans = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which place them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is a dairy product. So candy bars are a health food. Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
If...
Recent exploration of sediment deep beneath the Artic Ocean has led geologists to estimate that approximately 1/4 of the world?s untapped oil and gas reserves are located there. After evaluating the impact of the news, the U. S. may seek membership in OPEC.
President Bush, smiling and joking with King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia at a press briefing in Nome, Alaska, stated, ?Since it looks like we?ve got about as much oil off Alaska as our good friend the King here has in the ...
?I dunno. If I did, I?d be in tech.?
?Heat.?
?Oh, right. We don?t want the team to be cold, at least, not all the time.?
?No way. They?d be miserable.?
?And we don?t want that.?
?So we need light and heat.?
?How do we manage that??
?We?re thinking of overheads.?
?Overhead lighting??
?Yeah. Also, heating.?
?All that, hanging up there? I don?t know. This sky is starting to sound kind of busy to me.?
?That?s because you?re not seeing it the way w...
Question: Which country is the oldest on earth?
Answers: San Marino
Trivia Teaser: According to tradition, San Marino is known as the world's oldest republic. The tiny republic was founded by a Christian stonemason named Marino (or Saint Marinus) on September 3, in the year 301 C.E.
Question: Which continent is the largest?
Answers: Asia
Trivia Teaser: Asia is the largest and most populous continent or region, depending on the definition. It covers 8.6 percent ...
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1. The Abominable Snowman, Yeti, Bigfoot, and Sasquatch appear in one form or another in which epics?
A. Ancient Sumaria epic
B. Russian literature
C. Anglo-Saxon literature
D. Greek mythology
E. All of the above
E. All of the above
TOPICS: The ?wild man of the woods? is a familiar figure in folklore from Enkidu of the Gilgamesh Epic, the Russian leshiy, Grendel in the Anglo-Saxon epic Beowulf, and Silenus and the satyrs in Greek mythology. Contemporary reports are...
Why do many people look to movie stars for answers to some of life's most challenging questions?
While we have great respect for the art of acting, as explicated from Stanislavsky to Strasberg, the latter of whom we knew well and were fond of, we have never understood how the usual snippets who decide to become actors ascend in the minds of the public from being initially generally regarded as likely ne?er-do-wells to being considered the most readily available font of ins...
If you are getting ready for Hallowe?en or just getting dressed in the morning, here are a few terrible superhero costumes that can teach us all a valuable lesson.
1. The Falcon
The Falcon, Captain America?s sidekick, currently has a costume that fits the superhero universe just fine. However, Falcon?s earlier costume was entirely spandex, that exposed both his chest and his entire arms. This revealing outfit is made even more hilarious by the
The Moral: Never wear a...
Secretary-General Kofi Annan sped to the Middle East with his UN emergency repair kit to do maintenance work on the quick fix the UN implemented between Israel and Hezbollah. Only trouble is, his traveling handiwork doesn?t seem as much like the permanent fix as all the world would like to count on. Even while he was cobbling the warring factions together, his work looked more like duct tape that could unravel as quick as a speeding bullet.
For instance, the dutiful diplom...
While browsing the philosophy section in a quaint and generally inaccessible bookshop, we came across a miniature tome we might have missed in conning the long shelves of a megastore. Noting the title on the spine and considering its offbeat nature with curiosity, we reached to indulge it with a cursory examination.
A closer view confirmed the title is indeed On Bullshit and informed us that the author is one Harry G. Frankfurt. We opened the book to inspect it further and...
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Hey fatso! Are you worried that you thereafter drop far in an enormous block of cholesterol and the matrix of a coronary giant? Exercise of screw - a scientist said that ankle working observation is right like good for your heart.
The researchers at the university of Maryland discovered that the laughter of a film of comedy is like goods right for you like vigorous access of aerobic exercise, showing that the old stating ?laughter is best medicine? is completely true. To ...
The Florida manatee has fooled us all for ages. We thought it was as slow to cogitate as its ?sweet potato? body is to move. Never did the clever "sea cow" let on that it?s actually as brainy as, or perhaps even brainier than, a somersaulting dolphin. But now its lethargic disguise has been penetrated, thanks to the researches of a neuroscientist at the University of Florida.
Roger L. Reep, who, along with a small group of other researchers, has discovered that trichechus ...
Baby boomers, who exercise more than any generation before them, have been flocking to orthopedic surgeons to tend to their aching tendons and joints.
As news of the growing need for surgical intervention spread, a number of boomers have found the willpower to moderate the intensity of their workout routines.
Personal experience has also confirmed the wisdom of moderation. For example, one inveterate marathoner was shocked by the surprising perception that there were no...
During the course of his celebrated career, Rush Limbaugh invented the term "adult beverages" to refer to alcoholic drinks so as not to offend mothers with young children listening to the show. But no insight was given on where to find the best dittohead adult beverages. That's why I created The Dittohead's Guide to Adult Beverages, a political humor book fans of the show will love.
Just try out these great recipes:
ENVIRONMENTALIST WACKO WHISKEY
Glass: Your Own Cupp...
We all know the story of the rube who gets sucked into a game of Three-Card Monte on Fifth Avenue and watches his bets disappear in the pockets of the quick-handed sharpie at the folding card table. And what do we have in the Middle East now but a variation of the same obvious sucker?s game, which we choose to call Three Turban Monte?
Can you pick the Medieval headgear under which we can hope to find a winner? Or are we bound to be snookered?
On one end, we?ve got the t...
Recently, the price of gas has gone up approximately three or four times a day, depending on how energetic the person is who climbs up and changes the prices at your favorite filling station, until the only word for the skyrocketing astonishment is "gas-tronomical!?
President Bush took a bold stance on the issue, saying, ??Americans understand the price of crude oil is going up but they will not accept manipulation of the market. And neither will I!?
Proud words, perhap...
In the wake of having reported that God told him Tsunami-like storms were likely to hit the U. S. coasts this year, Pat Robertson appeared on his TV program visibly shaken, and announced, ?God has told me something else, and it?s something I didn?t want to hear. He said, ?Pat, you lost your mind.?
?Naturally, I was surprised and asked why he would ever think such a thing of me.
?God went on to ask, ?Did you report that I told you America should assassinate Hugo Chavez, ...
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