Free Humor Articles

1. What American city is recognized as the cradle of modern professional football? A. Canton, Ohio B. Chicago, Illinois C. Muncie, Indiana D. Rochester, New York A. Canton, Ohio QQ: Today, Canton is recognized as the cradle of modern professional football. The Pro Football Hall of Fame, dedicated in 1963, is located there, but the real reason is that a 1920 meeting led to the formation of the American Professional Football Association. 2. The English organized th...

An 82-year-old woman was recently issued a ticket in California for crossing a street too slowly. A police officer, who arrived on a motorcycle, told her she was obstructing traffic ? and issued her a summons for $114. Responding to the uproar caused by the curious traffic ticket, the municipality has begun to wonder if it should work out ways to help seniors cross streets without fear of incurring a penalty. It is, of course, much too optimistic to hope that the munici...

As the world indulges in another reverent obeisance to the Nobel Prize and its genuinely laudable recipients, we should take a moment to observe that Alfred Nobel has been excluded. What? Have you noticed that the prizes in science go with reliable regularity to very deserving academic researchers but, as W. S. Gilbert would say, ?Never," "What never?" "Well, hardly ever!" to an independent inventor. Far be it from us to protest the wonderfully groundbreaking academic r...

While the civilized world has reacted with horror at Iran?s plan to harness the energy of the atom, as in bombs away, Russia has steadfastly defended the menacing mullahdom?s nuclear ambitions. At first, any person distinguished for responsible behavior is taken back by such apparently reckless advocacy, not only because it seems wildly risky, if not outright self-destructive, but also because one does not expect it from people who have decided to present themselves as suc...

If we remember correctly, a person becomes a national hero when he saves, or at least helps save, his country. So we?re a bit perplexed that Hassan Nasrallah, the supposed leader of Hezbollah, who is patiently but effectively destroying his country, is being hailed as a hero at home and in much of the Middle East. How pathetic can hero worship get? If results influence the estimate of actions, here we have a man who is demonstrably the world?s latest master of misjudgme...

What do people talk about when they all believe different things and nobody is sure what the other person believes? Then you add to that the usual courtesy that most people don?t want to offend other people, especially when it comes to the topics people disagree about with the most intensity, such as politics and religion, which all but the most foolhardy consider way off limits, at least, in what is referred to as polite conversation. Actually, the silence of the times...

Have you ever made a comment that was simply ridiculous, but you didn?t realize it until you saw the smiles on your friends faces? You may have been totally mortified afterwards, but the truth is everyone makes comments like that; even the smartest people in the world make dumb comments too. The best part is: the smarter they are, the harder you laugh. My friend Jessie recently graduated from MIT and headed off to Princeton to get her PhD. A month after she moved in, she c...

After decades of refusing to admit that Palestine has a legitimate right to exist, Israel inched toward possible approval of the idea it has opposed as part of its militantly anti-Palestine platform. Palestinians, who have by now grown used to the belief that they are the ones who get to decide which state has a right to exist, were bewildered by the surprise announcement. They also puzzled over whether it meant that they really ought to acknowledge Israel's right to exist. ...

President Bush made a secret trip to Iraq to meet with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki to assure him that the U. S. will continue to support efforts to stabilize and rebuild Iraq. Mr. Maliki thanked him and assured him that he would do everything to increase President Bush?s approval ratings. After further discussions, the two leaders agreed that the best way to accomplish both goals may be to exchange jobs. President Bush stated, ?I?m very involved in the U. S. invol...

Do you save one of the books of holy writ or the helpless babe? Be fair. You can only save one. No time for two. The flames are at your fanny. Yes, there's some chance you can go back for a second rescue attempt, but right now the hope is too risky to influence your decision. Let?s say you pick one of the books. What will the people, who happen to see your choice through a flame-fraught window, think of you? And, as you rush out of the incinerating house and the baby go...

Wouldn?t it be revelatory if a helpful hand would came out of the clouds and give the human race a new work list? Given our present doings, we sure could use one. But, since the hand does not seem to be forthcoming, we decided to take the hint and do our best to help develop one. To get the new work list started, we present the following recap of our current work list and then our suggestions for inclusion in a new work list. First, let?s review the regrettable list hum...

Rest easy, America, even when you contemplate the abbreviated flight of North Korea?s errant but someday, they hope, long-range Taepodong 2 missile ? a name that, should the nation ever decide to enter the capitalist hustings, doesn?t sound like a very promising appellation for a new car. In the wake of the miscalculated launch of seven missiles by North Korea, including a Taepodong 2, President Bush told reporter Larry Wing in an exclusive interview, ?We?ve got a missile ...

In case you haven?t heard, there is a brash new movement afoot to make America a nonaligned nation. The principal motivation behind the movement is worldwide ingratitude for the sacrifices America has made for the benefit of other nations, while getting back precious little in return, materially or even in simple gratitude. Certainly, the group maintains, the payback in either form has hardly been commensurate with the sacrifices America has made in life and treasure. The ...

Sometimes the cartoon world, at least as reflected in the colorful pictures and captions of mass media, gets so bonkers that a real-world headline would be right at home in a humor magazine. Take the ludicrous bauble that prompted this article. It appeared in no less a distinguished place than the front page of The New York Times on the Web: "Bathroom Dispute Halts Chess Championship." We could have gone with that. No doubt about it. But we prefer to see the everyday za...

Iraqi insurgent groups, in secret talks with resourcefully pacifying President Jalal Talabani, admitted they may have been fighting the wrong enemy. Upon hearing the admission, President Talibani slapped his forehead so hard he fell over backwards and was unconscious for approximately three days. Upon being resuscitated, he continued the talks. Apparently, the insurgents, most of whom are Sunni Muslims, have slowly begun to realize that American and coalition troops, who t...

"I never go on vacation," said a Manhattan real estate agent. "And when I do, I have my computer, my Palm, my e-mail and my cell phone with me at all times." It seems that our tech toys have become the adult equivalent of an umbilical cord. So how can we live without them? And what about now, when, as a good citizen, who also doesn't want to get arrested, you at least have to endure your plane trip without their nourishment and comfort? Let's do a checklist of tech toni...

Is everybody happy with the way the US is behaving as the world?s most powerful nation? No? Well, when has everybody ever been happy about anything? So let?s think about what other nations might do a better job. What if Russia had won the cold war? How much do you really enjoy vodka? And do you long to drive a Zil? How about if China hadn?t decided that military conquest would be too self-destructive and opted to give economic conquest a go? Wish you could dress like Ch...

Uncomfortable as we may be with the inadvertence, we have entered the age of The American Empire. We didn?t ask for it, but here it is, like an overgrown eagle that decided, surprisingly enough, to flap into our laps. The problem is, we don?t have a clue how to take hold of that confused bird and send it off on a long and majestic flight. Right now what we?ve usually got are most of the right intentions but all of the wrong results. Why? We have opted for a strategy tha...

Are you looking for a comedy group that offers something for almost anyone then enjoy! 1. A funny, improvisational show that is played out as a sport is called ComedySportz. Entertain business associates, your family and even church groups at a show such as this. 2. Two teams make up games, scenes and songs on the spot to gain points, as well as, laughs. There are referees to call fouls and the National Anthem is sung before each game. The audience votes for their favor...

We?ve all seen those credit card commercials on television advertising ways to keep your identity safe. They involve innocent victims of identity theft talking in the voices of the criminals who stole their identities. One includes a couple of old ladies sitting on a sofa surrounded by gaudy decorations involving flowers and doilies. While this doesn?t sound so unusual, the ladies are speaking in the voices of two men who have stolen their credit cards, and possibly their ide...

Look far and wide, and what do we see? The most civilized nations, at least, the ones we've got at this point in our nascent human development, having made an uneasy accommodation to behavior that they would historically wretch at as downright repellent. It?s none other than the law of Hammurabi, or tit for tat, writ in TNT. So we arrive at the big question. What hath terrorism wrought? These merciless scoundrels have compelled us transform our own sense of right and...

Viacom gave Tom Cruise the bruise of his career ? or, more exactly, its cantankerous chairman, Sumner Redstone, did, for behavior unbecoming an employee of the entertainment giant, saying Cruise?s shenanigans are ?not acceptable to Paramount.? Redstone?s punch to the career launched an entire boxing match of bruising comments. Mr. Cruise?s attorney shot back in un-lawyerly fashion, calling his comments ?disgusting? and saying ?he?s lost it completely or he?s been given ...

The Senate, immediately after voting to approve legislation governing the interrogation and overall treatment of terrorism suspects, voted on new legislation that would compel it to interrogate itself about why nearly every member?s speechifying has been directed, not so much at the nation?s problems, but at the November voter. The body very politic had good cause to approve the controversial legislation. While a dozen Democrats crossed party lines to support the legislati...

As if it wasn?t enough that PBS, the bastion of culture at the broadcast level, fired the host of the toddlertainment, ?The Good Night Show.? Reason given: The sweet thing, by the name of Melanie Martinez, who is beloved by moms and kids alike, appeared in her ancient history as an actress in two videos spoofing public service announcements that advocate teenage sexual abstinence. Even PBS admits there was nothing pornographic about the videos. (Why, since truth must be to...

As expected, George Bush exercised his veto power and expunged the controversial Charcoal Grill Bill that the Senate and the House, growing wiser about the promise of science, bravely passed ? without, however, enough votes to override his ill-considered flick of the pen. The bill would have allowed federal funding for barbeque research. It was the first veto of his presidency. Citing the role of carbon, not only in charcoal briquettes, but as the fundamental component of ...

1. Although it is the eighth months in the Gregorian Calendar, August was originally what month in the Roman Calendar? A. Sixth B. Seventh C. Eighth D. Ninth A. Sixth TOPICS: It was originally known as Sextilis which is the Latin name for the sixth month in the Roman calendar. 2. The US honors what fish in August? A. Goldfish B. Swordfish C. Shark D. Catfish D. Catfish TOPICS: Catfish are any of about 31 families and 2,000 species of fish belonging to t...

An admittedly small upstart group of Palestinians, comparing the quality of their governance with the orderly procedures in Israel, have decided the best thing that can happen to them is to give up on their own government. As a result, they are asking Israel to keep the members of the Hamas government the Israelis arrested in response to the kidnapping of an Israeli soldier by militants. Even more surprisingly, they are advocating a one-state solution, with the Gaza Str...

Members of The Dramatists Guild of America, the organization of playwrights, of which I have been an active member for many years, was in an unusually feisty mood in a review they let howl at a theater critic in the Windy City. What was the occasion of the lambasting? A long-time critic for The Chicago Sun-Times reviewed some musicals that were works in progress at Theater Building Chicago, a venue that has been attempting to nourish the struggling art form for many years....

We?re going to attempt what, until now, seems undoable for an infidel: write about Islamic behavior in a way that doesn?t upset Muslims or anybody else. Is that a challenge or isn?t it? Not really. All it takes, we think with persistent resistance to despair, is unwavering fairness, inarguable logic, and adherence to the truth as best as we can know and endorse it. So here goes. These days, we hear a great deal about what Islamic and un-Islamic behavior is. While it?s a...

At least, Washington can agree to come together to defend one of its own. The politcos did just that in response to Hugo Chavez calling President Bush ?the devil? in a speech at the United Nations. Commendably, Representative Charles Rangel, a New York Democrat no less, came forward fittingly irate to say, ?I want President Chavez to please understand that even though many people in the United States are critical of our president, that we resent the fact that he would come...