Free Humor Articles

1. Which countries celebrate Labor Day? A. United States and Canada B. United States and Germany C. United States and England D. United States and Australia A. United States and Canada TBD: It is a celebration of the working class. 2. Which country has the largest labor force in the world? A. Indonesia B. United States C. India D. China D. China TBD: China is followed by India, the United States, and Indonesia. China?s work force at 709 million in 1995 ...

If you browse the web, you'll come across many websites that has one or more video clips embedded in it. News websites such as BBC and CNN fall in this category. But, what about a website that has only video clips and nothing else? This is exactly what the Youtube Phenomenon is all about. To those who have not heard about Youtube, it is a video sharing website where one could upload, share, and watch video clips - Youtube videos - for free. It is owned by Google.

As all the world now knows, Berlin?s Deutsche Oper closed a production of Mozart?s perennially harmless opera Idomeneo, because of ?incalculable risk? due to a threat from a Muslim group or individual over the director?s decision to include a scene in which the heads of Mohammed, Jesus, and Budda are presented without their accompanying bodies. The heady scene is reportedly an effort on the part of the director to mix opera with his own anti-religious sentiments. While ...

The leaders of six Western nations whose inhabitants have, at least in the distant past, experienced the redemptive insights of the Enlightenment, with its insistence that reason should play a foundational role in human thought and that an idea like Condorcet?s ?perpetual peace and progress? might be more than a pleasant alliteration, finally grew weary of the interminable train of vitriolic videos out of the insane mind of Aman Al-Zawahiri, the Egyptian pediatrician turned c...

Questions: 1. One of the world?s oldest cultivated vegetables, this member of the lily family was considered sacred by ancient Egyptians, as valuable as gold in the Middle Ages, and a vital food for many historical military commanders on land and sea. Can you name this vegetable? A. Onion B. Carrot C. Leek D. Garlic 2. Which domesticated fowl was originally native to Southern Ontario, parts of the U.S. and Mexico before being domesticated by Indians and brought to E...

What do you know? There?s at least one Iranian who still has a good thought in his cranium? It appears that Mohmmad Khatami, the mullahland?s former Pres is just such a resilient and commendable gentleman. During his two-week trip to the USA ? interestingly, the mullahs behind the rascally current President allowed his visit and, not only that, our security personnel let him in ? he wisely acknowledged, ?In the crime of 9/11, two crimes were committed. One was killing inno...

?I?ll go along with that. You were talking about developing a way for the creatures in the water to breathe. How?d you manage that?? ?Gil had an insight, so we call it gills. Let me take this little fella out and demonstrate for a moment. Excuse me, he?s kind of feisty. Got ya! OK, now look here. See these little red things just behind its head.? ?Yeah. Those the gills?? ?Right.? ?How do they work?? ?The fish uses its mouth and these flaps to move water over th...

If you think you own your cat(s) - think again. A humorous look at the cat/human relationship, but seen from the cat's point of view.

Despite the troubling news that assails us each day and seems bent on convincing us we should all be the tense and unhappy recipients of the worldwide outrages it forwards, we remained confident that maybe somewhere there is still at least one American who is relaxed and happy. Intent on locating the indomitable soul, should there still be one, we spread out across the nation and, just as we were ready to drop our shoulders and sigh with hopelessness, we saw a man walking ...

1. What was the name of the first computer game? A. Pong B. Tennis for Two C. Pacman D. Donkey Kong 2. How were the Hawaiian Islands settled? A. By pirates B. By Polynesians C. By Spaniards D. By English 3. Which U.S. city had the first full-time organized police department? A. Boston B. New York C. Chicago D. Washington D.C. 4. Credit money is paper backed by what? A. Promise to pay B. Gold C. Silver D. Goods or property 5. The U.S. state Kansas ...

What were the last jokes that made you roll around on the floor because you were laughing so hard? Did it involve a doctor, a priest, and a lawyer? Was it on a TV show, or part of a stand-up comedy routine, or part of a recent lecture? In any event, do you remember how it made you feel? More likely than not you can remember the last time, and if you took a minute you could probably tell me the jokes, and it probably made your day. It either gave you relief from the stress ...

Nope, I?m not worried. I?m sure to be picked today. I can just feel it. I hear there?s a big sale going on so I know I stand a good chance. Yep, here comes someone now. She?s getting closer? closer?.oh-h-h .. passed up again. (Sigh) Why won?t anyone ever take a second look at me? I know I?m not the handsomest one around, but I?ve got personality. Wait! Here she comes again! Pick me! Pick me! Gees, her hands are cold! But at least she?s looking me over. It?s touchy-feely time...

Mohammed One raised his hands toward where he thought heaven might be, and wailed, ?I can?t stand it anymore! Allah, have mercy!? But the sky, flame-streaked and smoky, remained unresponsive. So he sank to his knees and began to weep, but the ground was so hot it blistered his knees instantly and he screamed and leaped to his feet again. At least, when he was upright his sneakers could cushion the heat at what he had always understood as the opposite of the heaven of his d...

Hispanic immigrants demonstrated by the thousands about what they claim is their right to become citizens of the land of the gringo. While we welcome the effort of everyone who wishes to become a citizen of our free and frazzled nation, we did note that there appeared to be no distinction made between immigrants who reside here in placid legality and those who do so with anxious illegality. We looked into the matter and discovered that the word ?illegal? is not in the S...

Never, under any circumstances, take a soporific tablet and a laxative the same night. But if you do, sleep in the bath-tub? If you are extremely drunk and swear that you will never dring again , you will forget this when you are sober. If you must identify, in a word, the reason for which the human race did not carry out, and will never realize, its full capacity, which the word would be the ?government. ? There is a very fine line between the ?pastime? and ?the psychosis...

Apparently, unable to contain his enthusiasm for bumming out the relatively nice and unsuspecting folks who make up much of the Western World, the misinformed medievalist has released another drearily threatening audiotape. Since the combined political, military, and intelligence resources of the civilized world cannot locate the potato head, we suggest the audiotape be taken as an opportunity to arrest him. Here's how. Somebody buys the resourceful recluse a video camera ...

Donald Rumsfeld, under fire from a platoon of retired generals who have called for his resignation, went on the offensive by appointing himself a retired general. Accompanied by a currently employed general, who, as the head of The Joint Chiefs Of Staff, is his usual sidekick, he stated, ?As The Secretary of Defense, I think I should at least be on an equal footing with a retired general, and, after careful consideration, I decided to become one.? A reporter then asked,...

We were sitting here trying, as usual, to figure out how today?s America, saddled with the burdens of inadvertent empire, could conduct itself in the world so Americans are happy about how we?re doing and the rest of the world might actually either approve or have a hard time disapproving of our behavior. We finally hit on an answer that?s so moronic we knew right away it has real potential. We behave as if we?re the American Umpire, that is, we call the balls and strikes ...

Questions: 1. What is the primary language of most residents of Montreal? A. English B. French C. Canadian D. Montrealese 2. During what century was swimwear revolutionized? A. The 20th century with the birth of the bikini B. The 19th century with the transition from swimming as therapy to swimming as recreation C. 18th century when lead weights were sewn into the hems of bathing suits D. 4th century when the first two-piece bathing suit was featured 3. When ...

Did you ever notice that we?re surrounded by information but hardly ever come across an idea in the media that might help us lead sane and happy lives? Oh, not the usual self-help drivel about how to lose weight or enjoy sex, but answers to the really big questions, like what to think about when you wake up in the morning and how to drink water out of a plastic bottle without burping. Try this experiment. Next time you go up to your favorite newsstand, scan all the overwro...

An embryo was relaxing when a female clinician approached the little glass dish in which it was defrosting after a long time in the freezer. The embryo noticed her approach and exclaimed, ?Whoopee, do I get implanted now? I can?t wait to grow up and become a real person!? ?No such luck,? the researcher told the embryo. ?What do you mean? I?ve been in cold storage for months, and now you?re telling me I don?t get to move up to becoming a baby?? ?I?m sorry,? the lad...

While America is experiencing a gasoline shortage, the nation?s dependence on foreign oil is about to end. A researcher at The Department of Energy, from which breakthrough ideas emanate on a regular basis, noticed that Americans, along with most people who ever lived, have a virtually unlimited and renewable supply of B. S. He wondered if it might be turned into fuel. The hypothesis proved so promising that his work produced a marvelous result in as short a time as it ...

Just when we thought all Iranian women were contentedly hiding behind their veils, what do we read but one not only made it to America but just made it into space? The daring and successful Anousheh Ansari, who grew up in Iran dreaming, not of memorizing the Koran as a safe substitute for original thought, but of space, has become the first female space tourist. She blasted off from Kazakhstan in a Soyuz rocket with astronaut Michael Lopez-Alegria of NASA and cosmonaut ...

After years of delay, the FDA plans once again to reconsider the over-the-counter sales of the controversial Morning-After Pill, which the manufacturer has, due to the extensive passage of time, now renamed the Marriage-After Pill. Ready access to the pill, which has been available by prescription, has been so long in the approval process that many women have already given up on the hope that it would be conveniently available and have decided to wait until they?re certain...

Muslim women, condemned to wear, even when sandy temps soar, clothes that curiously resemble what nuns usually wore before they lightened up their outfits, are rumored to be preparing a rebellion that is scheduled for a date that is being kept under wraps until it breaks out, to the horror of Muslim men, in scant bikinis. Order takers at online bikini retailers note an unprecedented surge in orders for the scanty attire from Muslim nations. Interviewed in a secret locat...

Grandma made a major decision the other day. She had been ponderin and ponderin how to deal with her three little darlins in the best way possible. She finally decided since there were three of them, maybe there should be three of her. Yep, Grandma decided she?d split her personality into three personalities and become three in one. Who knows? Even that Miss Ophrie might come a callin to her door and a wantin to meet them three in one. So Grandma had to decide which three ...

In a world caught up in effects, with scant attention being paid to causes, we find that France ? which has, in the understatement of the current issue, abstained from a full-throttle commitment to the war on terror ? has gotten its terrorist wakeup call. Al-Qaeda announced it had formed a union with Algerian insurgents who consider France their enemy. The deadly duo have agreed to work together against French and, you guessed it, American interests. Naturally, the terrori...

1. What event do Americans celebrate with a national holiday on July 4th? A. George Washington?s birthday B. King George III?s ascension to the throne of England C. Formal adoption of the Declaration of Independence from England D. Official signing of the Declaration of Independence C. Formal adoption of the Declaration of Independence from England TOPICS: The official signing actually took place over several days. 2. What country celebrates a national holiday in J...

Today, look high and low, and what do you see? Airhead behavior ? in fact, so much of it that it?s threatening to become the new human norm. What is going on here? And can we find hope anywhere? Yes. Where, you may ask? We?ll take a look. But to infuse the proceedings with appropriate levity, let?s first present NewsLaugh?s Ten Slams For New Heights In Underachievement. Then we?ll turn to those gifted and resilient human beings who refuse to partake in the worldwide ...

As if the Muslim religion didn?t have enough problems in the often less than mutually tolerant text of the Koran, now its radical exponents have run afoul of Kant?s ever-present Categorical Imperative. How? As Muslim murders Muslim, the warring Sunnis and Shiites each maintain that their religion lends support to their bloody sectarianism. To the extent that it does, it runs counter to K?s Categorical Imperative, which, as every schoolchild in America is taught by the a...